A very special thank you goes out to Brenda High and all the mothers who wrote Bullycide In America. I hope everyone will purchase Bullycide In America as you will have great empathy for the courage for all these families who have been incredibly impacted by bullying; no matter what form. I know this book will help save lives.

Introduction
Bullycide…A Lesson and A Warning!
A parent’s perspective… by Brenda High (Jared’s mom)
The Mission
Bullycide In America is designed as a tool to raise awareness, inform and educate all
people that bullying and its tragic consequences are a real phenomenon. And through
this education we will enact change for future prevention.
Bullycide
What is Bullycide? In this book we will examine many stories of bullycide, all a little bit
different, yet all connected. What was it that caused these wonderful children to take
such drastic measures? Were there consistent elements that played a role in these tragic
events?
It is common knowledge among mental health specialists and those knowledgeable on the
subject of depression that more than 90 percent of people who die by suicide have
depression or another diagnosable mental or substance abuse disorder,
(www.SpanUSA.org). Among adults. Among teenagers. The question, therefore, must
be asked, what causes depression?
A person just doesn't wake up one morning with depression. Psychologists believe that
some people have a genetic tendency towards depression, some people develop
depression because of environmental triggers, and some people can have both genetic and
environmental triggers. Perhaps our children were more sensitive than most. And
therefore, were more susceptible to the effects of the torment they endured.
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However, every parent in this book firmly believes that the environmental factors
affecting our children were the root cause of their depression, and ultimate suicide.
Every story in this book is about depression, and the bullying that triggered it. The new
term being used to describe this type of depression-caused teen suicide is, "bullycide."
The Warning
When you look at the pictures of our children, you cannot help but notice that they were
normal children, with normal faces. They had normal personalities with normal feelings
and emotions. They were just kids in every way.
You have undoubtedly heard it said, in many contexts, “if it could happen to me, it could
happen to you”. This is as true as true can be. No one is immune. No child, no family,
no community. Bullying exists everywhere, in many forms. And its tragic consequences
are very real.
To offer insight, the moms have assembled some of our own personal messages in the
form of short warnings:
• Rochelle Sides – “Don’t be afraid of the school, the teachers or administrators.
You must remember they work for you, and your children. If you don’t stand up
for your child, who will?”
• Debra Johnston – “A bully doesn’t have to be eye to eye to bully someone.
Sometimes he or she gets into cyberspace, and then there’s no place to hide from
their torment.”
• Carol Clinton – “Bullies WILL cause depression and depression is the number
one cause of suicide. The signs are there – be aware!”
• Brenda High – “It’s your child. You must fight for him or her. No one cares like
a parent cares - a parent is motivated by love.”
• Michelle Calco – “If you think something is wrong, something is probably
wrong. Go with your gut feelings.”
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• Tammy Epling – “Don't be fooled. Bullying doesn't have to be repeated, or take
place over a period of time. Each child is different. Even one traumatic instance
can cripple a young mind into a well of despair.”
• Cathy Swartwood Mitchell – “While you are going through the system to fight
for your child’s rights, your child is the one going into the battlefield…and today
could be the day that he or she is fatally wounded.”
The Lesson
Sometimes it is only through the hard lessons of others that we learn what path we should
take in our lives...but it doesn’t usually start out that way.
We watch our parents when we are young. We learn values, and begin to develop a sense
of who we are. We watch our friends, we make mistakes, and we grow. We learn in
school, from our teachers, not just math and science, reading and writing, but life lessons.
Hopefully, we develop a sense of social conscience and how we can, in some way,
contribute to the greater good. Sometimes...we have no idea where the lesson will come
from. What singular event, good or bad, might change our entire lives, and point us to
that life-path. We, the parents of children who chose to die by suicide, find ourselves in
this place...on a new and unexpected path. We want others to understand how we have
come to be here, and the avoidable tragedies that brought us to the depths of despair, the
same tragedies that have set us on a new path...of action. These unbearable events have
shaped our current lives and set us on a course, to share our lessons and offer our insights
through our stories. We pray others may learn from us.
Our stories, six others, and mine, are deeply personal and tragic. We have all had a very
hard time writing those stories; it is difficult to express the emotion that comes from
losing a child by suicide, or by bullycide, as we now call it. At the time of this writing,
some in our group lost their children years ago, others, much more recently. Still, as
difficult as it was to share these events, in many ways it was healing. We were (and are)
able to honor our children, their lives, their souls; they were fantastic people who deserve
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to be remembered. By remembering them in this fashion, and sharing what we have
learned, we hope we can truly make a difference in the lives of others.
What are some of the lessons have we learned?
One thing I know we have learned, along with the ins and outs of bullying in today’s
world, is a different respect for the power of bullying. Collectively, our knowledge and
experience on the subject rivals any clinical or educational endeavor. I won’t say what
the other moms have experienced, but for me, I have lived the subject of bullying, spoke
about bullying and enacted change regarding bullying since the day my son Jared died.
Many have called me a “Mom on a Mission”, to stop school bullying. That calling is in
my heart, and will be for many, many years.
I know the mothers in this book have learned about the soul of a victim, in this case, their
own child. Our children suffered (mostly) quietly, until one day, these gentle-souled
individuals took their pain out on themselves in one explosive, self-destructive act. They
were captive to the thoughts inside their sensitive minds. Strongly influenced by the
events and kids around them, and beaten down by chronic bullying, they were convinced
that to live was not worth fighting for, and to die was their only escape.
As parents, we have learned that it is difficult to be a “survivor”. It isn't so much as being
left alone on an island; the real torture comes from being left alone in one’s mind...to deal
with one’s thoughts. Being forced to live with mind-demons day by day.
We all deal with grief and despair differently, but only those who have lost a loved one to
suicide can understand the gamut of emotions that come with losing a loved one by this
means – it just isn’t the same. It’s hard to tell people I meet, who ask me how my
youngest child died, that he died by suicide/bullycide. It would be so much easier to say,
“Jared died in a tragic accident.” But the truth cannot be hidden, and as the scripture
says, “The truth shall make you free.”
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Although this book is filled with sad stories, it is a book about hope. It is our desire to
help others, and educate those who read our stories, so that they do not have to endure the
same sad fate someday. In talking to the other parents who have contributed their stories
to this book, I have found we've all learned common lessons, among them, patience,
endurance, empathy and understanding. Our crying eyes have dried a little, and our
shaking hands have stilled a bit. We are now ready to share our stories.